My cat reminds me so much of my abusers. I have known this for a while. I still don’t know how or what to do with it.
He’s a 16 pound cat, that isn’t fat. He is just huge. Along with his size, he has a big ego, big attitude and has serious control issues.
He is demanding, obnoxious, dominant and pushy. I almost can’t stand him. I’ve had him for 13 years and while he has always been like this, it got worse when my two alpha dogs died over the past three years.
He’s always been rude with me, but now he is taking it out and trying to control the dogs and he’s doing a good job at it. It infuriates me to no end. He keeps triggering off the anger in me that goes beyond him. I’m so fucking angry right now after spending some time with him I want to throw up. Or I’m going to start hyperventilating.
He is and will always be a total jerk, but the triggering it is doing is starting up again and I don’t know what to do with all this anger! This fucking hot anger!
I want to scream, but I can’t
I want to run,but I can’t
I want to hit and throw, but I can’t
WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WITH ALL OF THIS????
(puts in Nine Inch Nail concert)
(screams and sings while dancing with dogs)