Having a tough day today. I keep having to make the decision to not be a depressed victim. I’m running out of energy doing that. It worked great a couple of times today, but I find myself winding down again and I just don’t have it in me to pick myself back up.
Had a bit of a tradegy this past weekend, a car hit hubby’s vehicle and totaled it. Hubby is fine, but losing the van was a shock to the system and I’m still not feeling alright with it. Luckily we have another vehicle, a old beat up truck. It looks like its falling apart, and it is, but runs like a champ. Just in a matter of seconds everything changed.
There are a few other matters involving the accident that have been frustrating to add to the confusion.
There is a large part of me that is OK with everything that happened. No one was hurt and we still have the truck. Everything with the details was done in a timely matter and turned out in our favor. And yet I can’t quite put my finger on what is bothering me.
Is it just a life altering change that has brought me down because that is my go-to response? I’ve been feeling pretty good lately as far as my bipolar goes, so did my brain turn off the switch when I heard about the accident? Is it like the rug was pulled from under me? Something that happened that I didn’t expect?
Now I’ve got these constant up and downs all day long. Is it just life handing me that silver platter? And what is God thinking about all of this? Answers I wish I had that will come with time that I am quite impatient with.
Can’t just be me…hubby is going through the same thing. We are both bummed.
Thanks for letting me vent!