My dog is bleeding internally.  So far he has bled and clotted up twice and is still alive and doing well otherwise.  I’m not sure what to think about it, except to accept it for now.  There is nothing I can do about it.  We don’t even know if surgery is an option, not without a high risk, because he also has hypertension.

This dog is my heart dog.  My canine soul mate.  We have been through everything together since he was six weeks old.  We have been the heart and soul of each other and know each other inside out.

We have most the same background.  Abusive.  Violent.  Trauma.

We have been entwined in our healing process since the beginning.

He is aggressive with other dogs and I learned how to curb his inner core fear by listening and a lot of trial and error when trainers were worthless with him.

He’s been working on my courage and letting go of my own fears and conclusion, like I have a right to live and be part of this life.

Yes, it’s been pretty hard core stuff with me and my dog.  And we’ve been building this foundation for 8 years.  And while we never know when our time is up, we do know it can be shorter.   And I am just broken over the possibility of this earlier death date.

This dog is my bipolar dog.  He knows what manias are.  He has them due to his aggression level and hypertension.  He does things he can not control and he is in pain when he is in them.

And I understand.

I’ve been there every step of the way with him to find that calming voice and soothing touch that only another mania victim would know.

And he has been there every step of the way for me.  In my depressions that were so heavy and deep I clung to him for dear life to make it through them.

When I have been lost, he has found me and vice versa.

I don’t believe this is the end, I believe hubby and I will find a way to help him.  It just may take some time.

There is nothing like the unconditional love of a dog that I wouldn’t give my life for, for no human can match it.

I love my boy and I pray makes it through so this will be just another obstacle that we will survive.


4 thoughts on “Unconditional

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