Went to a funeral this past weekend for a couple we know who lost their son. He was an adult but it still triggered off those feelings of when I lost mine, in a way I wasn’t prepared for at all.
When I greeted the couple at the door is when it really hit me. You could see in their faces the pain and anguish they had been through and were still going through. And when I hugged the mom, I squeezed her real tight, because I knew what she was going through. And while she doesn’t know that my pain is her pain, it was the first time I saw what a real mother’s love is for her son.
I feel like I have sunk into the belly of the whale. I feel protected and taken care of, yet I feel like I am sinking. For some reason I am surprised at being triggered. It’s always in the aftermath that I realize what is going on. I feel sad and depressed, but I don’t feel like it’s the end of the world. It just took me back to a place and time that I hope to never travel again.