I’ve been wanting to write, but once my thoughts run through my head, I feel so depleted and empty that there is nothing left to write.

Too much has been going on.  I’m not a big fan of the holidays, though it bothered me less this year than in the past.  Between my birthday and Christmas gifts always came with chains attached to them.    And I paid a heavy price for every present I got.  For the few years that heaviness has lessened and I didn’t really feel anything this year.  Which was a blessing.

Christmas was spent with friends.  Neither hubby or I have any family to speak of, so it was nice to have dinner with them.

I found out on November 8, that my eldest dog, Silver has a mammary gland tumor.  And after a biopsy found out it was cancer.  Right now she is OK except for a bladder infection (at least that is what we think now) that won’t go away.  I’m worried about there being cancer somewhere else (she is 13 years old and has lots of bumps and lumps on her), but our vet doesn’t think so and I trust her.  I still can’t help but worry.  At least she is eating now.  For about two weeks she would barely eat or drink and she was in a lot of pain with her UTI.  So I am grateful for that.

Christmas was also hard because I couldn’t shake having the blues about missing my other dog, Brut, that died a year and a half ago.  It was one of those days when he was by me in spirit, but I just wanted to grab him and hug him with all my might.  I miss him so much.  And then to deal with Silver being sick, made it even harder.  I’m not ready for what the next year will bring.

And I would like to say a special thank you to all the blogs I read that fill my soul with a feeling of understanding and of not being alone.  To being open and real.  With great depth and soul.  I am so glad I found you.

This is for you Bethanyk.  🙂 It is called “Free”



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